I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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