does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
