i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
