I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
