I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
