On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What happened to fro yo and sex?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
