I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
