If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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