something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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