i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
