You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
