Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
