so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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