ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
now i know why i became what i already was.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
