mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
