the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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