I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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