Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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