Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
