He uses pillows to masturbate.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
