I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
