The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
