maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
