god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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