She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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