idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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