Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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