sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
