I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
