I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
