woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
