Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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