You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
