Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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