Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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