then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm just crazy horny about you
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Randomize
