I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
