you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
