I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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