my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
