birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dignity is for republicans.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
