Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How drunk are you?
Completed.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
