We won't sleep together?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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