actually, I'm a sock model
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
