All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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