i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
