MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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