Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
