So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
