Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
