PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All the doctor said was why
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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