I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
nutella sex= disaster
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
