Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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